What do you call crystal clear urine? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Poodini. Q. Funny one-liners. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Knock, knock. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? You let it finish! One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. 49. Ha! says the barman. The agent then says that's not fair. . ", Can anyone answer this riddle? I once had a case of diarrhea. Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer
who asked if they had a public restroom? Poop. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? 3. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. But theyre a solid number 2. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? It is even better when his friends are around. Not a joke Wear Depends! Knock knock. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? They were negative. While waiting in line to go to the urinals I said: "T in the park?! So mind your pees in queues. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Required fields are marked *. Ctrl+P So Im sure youll like them. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. I actually like poop jokes. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? He set a new lap record. Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? Control freak. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. OUCH! They both deal with a lot of crap. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. With
age comes the skill of multi-tasking. Funny One-Liners 1. 4. Nothing. the New York Jets cocktail? So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. We hope you will find these urinary pee. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. A. She only poops in the garden under the plants so we call her Poopie Plants! Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. More
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Puns | Travel Jokes |. 5. 2. To cover their butt quacks. The picked up the phone and said. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? 34. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. A. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Q. Whos there? How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? Ctrl+P Why were there balloons in the bathroom? 30. A. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. 64. I have a hard time getting it out. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. 70. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. He can charm the
pants off just about anyone! Ayatollah you already. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Click here for more information. A urinarrator. A. Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Dad: Looks like urine trouble! 2. Why arent dogs good dancers? 2. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. I like toilets for two reasons. It leaked so they had to release it early. Nah, they always stink. It was clogged. Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. A fart with a lump in it. 1. What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys
legumes? We try to find out what kids love. A. Peanut. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. Through the grapevine. What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? Because he always goes with the flow. 44. 11. To look for Pooh! Q. It leaked so they had to release it early. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him? These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. They both deal with a lot of crap. And then she giggles. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? A. Q. Yeah, they got him on possession. Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. 3. The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. A. Urine Luck. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A. Urine Trouble! Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? Its funny just saying it. Knock, knock. She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. Something is in the air and we dont like it. 41. It was Chewie. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Your
kidney stone test came back. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? A. Urethra! 1. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? The volcano exploded because it couldnt find a lava-tory. Whos there? So,
you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones
welcome to the Stone Age. Why is #1 yellow? 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden What do you call a hippies wife? Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. If pooping is a call of nature. When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. 3. School who? The purrpatrator. 6. 2. If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ? No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. He just couldnt budget. Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? A. "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore.". A bis-cat. It never came out! the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the
haunted house? So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. All
these years he'd been letting potential income slip through
his fingers. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. The
nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the
cup. If a dog goes to poop, Love is like a fart. This goes right up there for proudest moment of my life, next to saving a child from a burning building. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish A. Mopey Dick. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Bowl-ing! WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. No, but it does run in your jeans. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who
counts the inventery? What is the pharmaceutical name for the drug, Viagra? (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). A. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? Q. A. Addalittledictamy. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! . Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! 6. The agent says you gamble with that much money. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Why does Piglet always smell bad? Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? The trots! The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. Im feeling really wiped. 4. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Q. Dr. Dre. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? The Times are rough. 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. They smell funny. What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. He never reads any of mine. A. Urologists only work on one bone. I love my toilet. It was a knot-for-profit. Runs in the family. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. 21. A. Control-P. Q. Paddy frowns. " Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Just go with the flow! What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? Cops have nothing to go on. 89. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! A new wine has been made for cats. Now you say, Control freak who?. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? Airport security wouldnt let it through. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? A. ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. Alabama. 3. I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Who wants to know? Because he was stuffed. Its a filibuster. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis
enlargement? No matter how he tried, everything just kept getting
harder and harder. 95. It runs in your jeans. She got dumped. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? To get to the bottom. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! A. They call it Franks and Beans. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? Did
you hear about the charismatic urologist? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. This is really rough. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee
test to get his job. What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get
stuck in morning rush hour traffic? Did you hear about the constipated composer? Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. He had skeletons in his closet. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. What do snow and friends have in common? A. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist
Puns, Porta
Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly
Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns,
Crappy Jokes. Toilet jokes arent my favorite WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? When is the best time to go to the restroom? 23. I guess you could say its a pet peeve. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. They get installed. Advertisement. It needed to be changed! We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. And to think, this is only the peeginning. A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. He worked it out with a pencil. Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? 97. What do you call a cheap circumsision? A large fortune. How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? What do you call a pirate that skips class? A. My love for you is like diarrhea. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Q. They arrived to a sticky
hostage situation. 6. We've been through a lot of shit together. 31. Everyone told her that they stink. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. To get to the bottom. A. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Is farting a missed call? Because he plays with Pooh. Patty OFurniture. Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. I hate spelling errors. Their paws. A. Piss Off. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Urologists
have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to
go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a
wee bit better. It got stuck in the crack! I had to put my foot down. 1. Pee, therefore queue. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. 82. A salad shooter. So mind your pees in queues. What did the poop say to the fart? A. Q. Ha! says the barman. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both
a sperm bank and urine analysis center? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Surely, kids will love it. Q. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. It never came out. More shit jokes? What do you call two guys using the same urinal? He then says,Wait. 5. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. A. What is the sound of no-hands texting? 25. . Because it's also called a restroom! 79. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs
and #1 toilet humor. What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. Youre looking flushed. Q. Because the P is silent. Kids love knock knock jokes. #1
Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't
we get pissed off? What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? 26. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". 18. What is the meaning of impotent? Where does a winemaker get his gossip? Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? 5. Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A few minutes later We hope you will find these urinary pee. 86. He kneaded a poo. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. To get to the bottom. 45. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? A. I love my toilet. My father is allergic to cotton. A peeH.d. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. A whizzard. Distinguished and well-know. Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Put a bit more formally: Here are some funnies you can share with kids. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. At the BP petrol station! 36. Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? A. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? It wasnt his doodie. It got stuck in the crack! I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. Dealing with it is very difficult and irritating. 1. 1. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. 1. . Why did the bakers hands stink? A. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? Q. Q. Poop who? Number 1 and number 2, What do you call a fairy in the bathroom? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? I had to put my foot down. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Darn tootin'! Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? Q. 4. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Nobel, so I knock knocked. 7. Q. Q. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. The genie grants his wish. Ctrl+P The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. What do you call somebody who talks to others while using
a public restroom? Darn tootin'! And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. A. I pee, eh. A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. Q. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Because they had nothing to go on! Check out this list and pick our your favorites. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. Nah, they always stink. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? Q. 55. Im feeling really wiped. 4. A. Its your doo diligence! Europe who? What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Poop Jokes? Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? I had to put my foot down. We should call that "social pisstancing". Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Depends. We recommend our users to update the browser. Knock, knock. 5. A cab. Q. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. Anybody with you? Humptys Dump. 90. What is the toilets favorite sport? Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. What did the urologist say to the associate doctor when
he hired him? Police are still on the lookout for hardened
criminals. Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. 99. To make it to the bottom! 2. ", Where does the Batman go to pee? The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. Yeah, they got him on possession. Q. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering
in his next erection. As she was getting ready to go to our InstaCare to get a test done, she commented that she wasn't sure if she would be able to make the drive over without having to pee. 76. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Agent says alright deal. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Because it's also called a restroom! Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Two men walk into a bar. We know you cant. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! A. School your ass. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? A. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". Haha, you just said poo-poo! Dereliction of doodie. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. What happens if you fall into the toilet? 1. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. 16. Nothing, it was on the house. So brunettes can remember them. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Whats the definition of surprise? 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. 10. Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Q. If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. Q. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. It got stuck in the crack! Whos there? Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? A. They both hope to make it home. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? What are kings farts called? Q. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? A. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! He just wanted a little more space. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? Flush Gordon. The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. Q. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Kids are weird. Because he was looking for Pooh! WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Nothing, if you're a dickhead. My IQ test results came back. 19. Q. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. Because all his patients are dicks. It never came out! Why was six afraid of seven? Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! Probably 40 of the little suckers. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. 58. 1. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. If you have to force it, its probably crap. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? Why did the toilet roll down the hill? A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Q. I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. 119 HILARIOUS Poop Jokes That Will Make Kids Laugh Out Loud! What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? He then says,alright last chance. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? What do women and toilet paper have in common? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you.